#Butt-life

Anal Play for Straight Men: 3 Cis Men Share Their Anal Adventures

Last Updated: Aug 23, 2023

If you're searching for anal play for straight men and have come across this article, you've hit the jackpot!

Now as a group that likes to think of ourselves as experts in all things related to anal play, we've noticed a few things -- Mainly, that people don't know very much about the prostate a.k.a. the P-Spot. And this means that they don't know much about how to keep it happy.

The prostate gland is found in cis (i.e., someone who identifies with their gender at birth) males between the bladder and the penis. It's about the size of a walnut, and massaging the prostate can be extremely pleasurable. This happens to be one of the many reasons why you should make sure that your prostate stays healthy (if you have one), and that means regular examinations from your doctor.

Another thing we've noticed is that many of those who do know what a prostate is think that only homosexual men should enjoy prostate play, since these glands are stimulated through anal sex or anal fingering. This is certainly not the case.

We spoke to three cis, heterosexual men about prostate play and how they realized that it's definitely not for gay men.

Can you describe your first experience with anal penetration?

AARON: My girl [proposed] the idea of a prostate massage, and after some subsequent discussion with her maybe a month or two later, she used gentle fingers a few times, kind of testing the waters. Weeks later, we had sex where she massaged me with her fingers and then used her vibrator. It was all very new, kinky, and exciting, and what made it enjoyable was her open mind and excitement to pleasure me. [During] the whole experience, the sensations were intense, and at times seemingly overwhelming.

A wife helping her husband experience anal play

EUGENE: I was about 12. I had read about women enjoying anal in a dirty magazine and thought to myself, "I have an anus too!". As soon as I had some time alone, my exploration began. I got on all fours and started using my fingers to rub around my anus and quickly realized that I was going to need some kind of lubricant. So, I used a little bit of vaseline to ease one, and then two fingers into my anus. It felt so amazing that I kept fingering my anus until I looked up and saw a plastic toothbrush case that had rounded ends.* I quickly grabbed it and slowly started easing it into my anus and rectum. I slid it in and out deeper than my fingers had gone, and my penis immediately got rock hard. It was then that I knew this adventure wasn't over.

ANDREW: I remember being in my teens and starting to explore my body and masturbation. Fingers eventually made their way, and the thrill of something "naughty" made it better. Eventually, I used a small bottle with some Vaseline [to insert] a banana* with a condom on it.

* The items used were a spur of the moment, b-Vibe does not recommend using toothbrushes, bananas, or other daily objects to insert into your anus. Instead, use a body-safe sex toy with a flared based with an ample amount of anal lube for maximum comfort.

What was your first experience like being penetrated by a toy?

AARON: I would add that pegging is much more enjoyable as an activity with a partner. While her doing something to me is enjoyable, I find the active and engaged nature of it, with both of us working and changing positions, etc, to be a more fulfilling shared experience.

EUGENE: I bought an 8" (length) x 1.25" (diameter) veiny blue penis suction cup dildo, from a very nice and discreet lady at a swap meet, along with a hefty bottle of lube. I was so excited that I had a "real" sex toy! I lubed up the dildo and my anus and started to slowly lower myself onto it. I rode the dildo up and down until I was penetrating myself with the entire length.

ANDREW: My first college girlfriend had a small, long, skinny vibrator. In the shower, I got on my knees and she slid the little blue toy into me. Being young and unsure of myself—although I enjoyed it—the stigma and her hating the experience wound up with me apologizing for putting her through anal. I was lying to her; I'd enjoyed it and wanted more.

Why do you think you didn't try anal sooner?

AARON: The stigma. As a straight male who grew up in an era where no matter your sexual orientation, you were called a "fag" and everything that was bad was "gay", so the idea that I'd enjoy anything sexual that a gay man would...well by math, would make me gay, and I'm not. Men are the ones who do the penetrating, they are hard and virile, not submissive.

EUGENE: I was pretty young when I first tried it and it felt so good that I was disappointed I hadn't tried it earlier!

ANDREW: I think I did try it at a developmental age, however, it took until my mid 20's to be able to ask partners to explore my backdoor. It was just immaturity mixed with not knowing myself yet.

What are the stigmas around anal play for straight men? Why do you think that straight men aren't having anal sex?

AARON: Perhaps it's simply the echos in my social bubble, but I think straight men desperately want to be seen as [masculine] and having anal sex is counter to how they want to be perceived. Older guys, early thirties and up, have got plenty of baggage around masculinity. And homosexuality is not commonly thought a masculine trait. I know older men who would rather risk having prostate cancer than spend the 8 seconds with a doc's finger up the butt to make sure they don't, cause they "aren't gay". There's a long journey to break through a lot of that [social stigma] to get to the simple idea that if a man [gets pegged while he] has sex with a woman, it's not gay, no matter what the act is, even if it's seemingly a complete role reversal.

EUGENE: Some are that it automatically makes you homosexual, or that you're hiding your homosexuality, not being "manly" or "macho."

ANDREW: 10 years ago, putting something in your butt was something gay individuals did. It had such negative and unfounded connotations of you as a man. If you found pleasure in that, "you must like men," and that was a bad thing for some reason. Here in 2019, well what's wrong with liking men? Personally, I prefer women and I also like anal play! In the past few years, the dialogue has opened up in all genders; it's okay to identify as a straight man that enjoys anal/ prostate pleasure.

Do you enjoy being on the receiving end as much as you enjoy giving?

AARON: I really enjoy the psychological liberation that anal sex has brought me. It's been a transformative experience to connect a pleasurable physical sensation with positive psychological and emotional ideals.

EUGENE: I think I enjoy receiving just as much as I enjoy giving. It depends on my mood. Sometimes I'll have a 15-minute anal masturbation session and not touch my penis, other times I'm wearing a butt plug and having sex with my wife for 15 minutes.

ANDREW: As far as anal play goes, with my wife, I prefer to be on the receiving end. Anal play helps me to understand her better, what it takes to be on the receiving end and the care it takes to penetrate someone because I myself have experienced it.

In a sexual sense, what have you not tried that you still want to try?

AARON: I feel like I've tried nearly everything sexually that appeals to me at this point. I've found a variety of things that I enjoy and want to continue to do more of and expand upon. I'd say that finding the right gear has been more complex than I would have expected since you can't really try any sexual equipment without buying it and crossing your fingers.*

* Allow us a humblebrag and take the guesswork out of your anal play with the Anal Training Kit.

EUGENE: I enjoy [anal] stretching and depth penetration, but I'm also a huge fan of things that are textured like rubbing and swirls and also butt plugs, stuff I can wear in public and no one is the wiser. Also, eventually I think I'd like to try fisting.

ANDREW: With my wife, although we have discussed the idea, she is not comfortable with the idea of me being penetrated by a woman with a strap on while I penetrate her. It is a fantasy that toys help fulfill.

Do you currently take any steps to ensure good prostate health?

AARON: I've got a family history with prostate cancer, so I've been checked by my doctor for that, but I also try and eat relatively healthy and exercise as much as possible to avoid a cancerous future in general.

EUGENE: I hadn't thought about it for a while, but just recently I started taking a men's multivitamin from a local vitamin shop that boasts prostate health.

ANDREW: I'm not sure if having regular prostate play or intimate time is ensuring prostate health, however, I think being in tune with one's body [is important]. I would be more aware if something was off with my own prostate. I have intimate moments with it; I know it.